Hi Xanga, it's been a while since I wrote.  But there's no one I can really express my feelings to at the moment but a journal.  It's been a really hectic month for me.


I went back to Philly to celebrate my Dad's 60th birthday.  My family gathered and surprised my dad with a birthday party we planned months ago.  It was a memorable moment for me.  Ever since my dad found out that I'm gay, he doesn't really talk to me or showed me that he still cares for me.  Even though he does not express it, I know he still loves me as a son.  It's the fatherly figure that he wants to hold so I respect that. Just looking at my parents being happy, it really brightens up my day.  When I was leaving to return back to San Francisco, he finally gave in and gave me a hug goodbye.  All I want from my parents is their forgiveness and their support.  I want them to be happy for me for who I am and not for what or whom they see out there. I am their son and I was raised well by them to be a good person. I love you mom and dad.

That aside, I’ve watched so many movies lately about love/romance.

The Classic (Korean)
Wind Struck (Korean)
A Moment to Remember (Korean)
My Sassy Girl (Korean)
200lb Beauty (Korean)
My Sassy Girl (American)
A Walk to Remember (American)
Just like Heaven (American)
The Love of Siam (Thai)
Friendship (Thai)

I love the endings for all of these movies, even though it can be depressing.  After watching these movies, I find them very inspirational. I learn the mistakes from the characters and try to prevent it from happening to me.  It sends a message to everyone that love isn't something you take for granite.  Respect it when it comes, and deal with obstacles together.  =\

-Jimmi-

I think falling in love too quickly will just bring dissappointment towards yourself at the end.  Don't tell someone you love them unless you truly, deeply mean what you said.  Once you say that 4 letter word, you can't take it back. 

I believe in love, but love does not believe in me.  Love come and then they go. Should I just play dumb and ignore the past and start new? Should I just stop loving?  Do people really know what love means? 

In 2 days, it's my birthday....I will be 22.  I know each day, i'm getting older and older by the second and realize some stuff I didn't know the day before.  It's been a month now since we last heard from each other.  I think you're better off without me.  I did hurtful things to the person I loved which makes me a bad person.  Now that there is someone else in your life, I know you two would be great for each other.  I can't force you to love me, because I know that in the end, i'll be hurting us both.  I will always love you.  Maybe in a few days, weeks, months, or maybe years we'll once again hear from each other and have crepes.  But for now, i'm lost in my own lil world.  I just need to find myself. Good bye